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Author: Subject: Abandoned Home
Cain
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[*] posted on 8-9-2008 at 11:32 PM


Cain watched Rhea's interaction with the child, keeping his body low to the ground so as not to scare the kid further. It was frightening enough to be experiencing this stuff, let alone having two big wolves come running at you in your dreams. When Rhea walked over to him, he held her gaze, their shared memories obvious before she turned and walked away. He stayed there a moment longer, resisting the urge to lay down and curl up in a warm ball by forcing himself to his feet. His long legs allowed him to catch up to her only moments later. He kept his gaze forward, thinking slowly and remaining silent.

After only a few minutes, though, he couldn't stand it anymore. The wolf in him wanted to run and play, and here he was trying to stay serious after an encounter like that with an unturned werewolf. He whimpered softly, turning to bump Rhea's side with his nose before looking at her inquisitively, his eyes bright. He trotted forward a bit and turned to face her, crouching down on his front legs and growling playfully.




These are the lies I have created.
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Rhea
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[*] posted on 8-9-2008 at 11:36 PM


She pawed at the ground, feeling bad for the small child. Eventually though she shook it off, barking playfully at Cain and shot forward again, her paws padded vilolently against the ground. She turned another sharp corner, dirt being kicked up off the ground. She barked again for Cain, letting him know where she was in the forest.

She stopped once she hit the head of town, realizing they were in wolf form and they would have to be stealthy as to not be caught going into the station. She waited patiently for him, tail going back and forth quickly, excited to continue.




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Cain
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[*] posted on 8-9-2008 at 11:41 PM


Cain raced after her, yelping in excitement as he rounded a corner and followed her lead. She was a fast one, that was for sure, but his legs were longer and it wasn't hard for him to keep somewhat close. He followed her bark, returning it with one of his own, and skidded to a stop beside her when he found her at the head of town. He studied the skyline with interest, amazed at how big it was. It reminded him of home, forty years ago before his change.

He tilted his head to the side to look at her, questioning how they would continue. It wouldn't be that horrible getting through town, he was sure, seeing as there was a whole pack of wolves here that must make it in and out with ease. His real concern was what they were going to do when they made it to wherever she was taking him. She might have clothes, sure, but his only (ragged) set was left back at the abandoned house.




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[*] posted on 8-9-2008 at 11:44 PM


She watched the sunset momentarily with him, a grin showing off her very sharp teeth. She let out a soft yelp just for Cain, slowing her walk as she made her way around, trying to find a way to the station without being seen. She saw a way though and immediately sprinted ahead, making her way to the station. She peeked in, surprised no one was down her.

Slinking through the door she trotted into the corner and waited for Cain. Hopefully he would find something to wear, there was always extra clothes for them whenever someone ripped through their skin and fabric.




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[*] posted on 8-9-2008 at 11:51 PM


Cain followed her through the shadows to the station, his eyes and ears alert for any sudden sounds and movements that might mean a human was approaching. They made it safely, though, and he gave a little bark of relief and cheerfulness, pacing around the room with a curious air. He poked his nose in various things, jumping back when a cloud of dust surprised him. He sneezed and shook out his fur, giving Rhea a wolfish wink before he looked up at the drawers. He whimpered softly, glancing at Rhea again. Not that he minded nudity, but he wasn't exactly keen on just flashing the hell out of her. Ah well. A wolf's gotta do what a wolf's gotta do.

He shivered slightly, a quick bark slipping from his mouth before he stood up, a six foot two inch tall very naked male. He raised an eyebrow in Rhea's direction before opening a drawer and rummaging through it for clothes.




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Lolita
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[*] posted on 9-2-2008 at 07:38 PM


Four months, god, maybe it was even five now. She hadn't any idea how she made it, every day just becoming a blur within itself. Mind just on mute and the world on fast forward, bodies moving about her at light speed as she just stood still. Watching on, waiting, wondering.

She wasn't sure what she'd been thinking when she decided to do it, quietly heading to that hospital. She'd tried to be legal at first, begging them to give her a child but they wouldn't. No proof of residence, her looks torn and beaten and hardly looking over sixteen - there wasn't a way she'd get anything. Illegally immigrated and no birth certificate to prove herself, she had only one choice. Well, two, but she'd never go there. She refused, her mind disgusted at even the thought of it. She didn't want anyone, she didn't want to see them, she just wanted to do this.

Pick up the peices and repair the mess he'd left. Do what he seemingly couldn't, truly confused as to how it was so damn hard. All it took was a fucking tube. Shooting it up into her, perhaps she was lucky, but it happened. All it took was two trys, not caring who she was using - they all had to pass inspection to get there anyway, prime sperm donors frozen, children not yet alive. Why didn't more wolfs do this?

It was easy.

But not painless. The tests coming out positive nearly frightening her, having taken shelter in the old house in the woods, tiny nest made on the floor from stolen blankets and coats from the shelter. It wasn't until he left did she realize how little she had. With him, he had enough money for everything. Anything he wanted, anything she wanted, but now... she'd been in the same clothes for weeks, the only things that truly still fit her with that swelling stomach. Cooped up in here and just waiting it out. Six more months to go, she figured, and it was over. The kid could go to some nice rich couple up in Killam Heights and she'd just start all over. Silly to think that somehow he'd find out, somehow he might just come back if he saw the tribe was regrowing, few of the members kindly giving her enough food to last through the coming winter as she just sat out here.

Waiting, and crying. She was still so weak, not the girl she'd been before, unable to fight if she wished to keep the child, unable to harm herself aswell. So all she could do was cry, the misery and pain overwhelming. No distractions, nothing for her amusement anymore but that old broke abacus she rattled the beads in, hand over her stomach as she sat there int hat tiny house. Rain rattling down on the old roof and splashing into the buckets she placed about, large trenchcoat keeping her warm as her head rested on that table, singing softly to herself as those counting beads were moved back and forth. A hundred of them, keeping track in scratch marks all over that old dining table, well over three thousand now, unsure even what it meant but one day she'd figure it out. Thousands of seconds alone, hundreds of hours apart.




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Hart
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[*] posted on 9-2-2008 at 08:51 PM


He did not know how much time passed since he was gone. In Urhan form he traveled every day and night until he collapsed into a ball of sweaty matted fur to sleep a few hours, then up once more to do the same day after day. All though Canada he roamed, letting the blasting cold beat against his rapidly weakening body. The only satisfaction coming from the hunt, but after a while even that lost the thrill and his kills were left uneaten. How could he eat when he did not know where Lolita was or what she was doing.

Worry filled his animal mind, knowing the way he left her and wondering how long it took before she got free and was able to live again. He wondered if she was healing, mentally. If there was any way she would grow and learn to be without him. He wanted her too, wanted her to become independent and . . . happy, on her own. It was his fault for needing her so much over the years, hardly letting the girl out of his sight and scaring off any male who tried to look at her. She was his. Even then before anything started she was his and Hart wanted to kill any who tried to make it different for them. Selfish bastard that he was. Never allowing any to touch her, the last who did mysteriously disappeared never to be seen again. Ha. Fucker got ripped apart and tossed off a cliff is what happened to him.

Yet still he touched other women, out of necessity. If he did not do so he would have taken Lolita to his bed long ago and violated everything he tried so hard to believe in. Wrong that he could do so yet murdered those who touched her. It was why he could never get too upset when she did the same to the women she caught him with. And he knew, while running in wolf form and trying to deal with everything racing through his mind, that he would never have gotten so upset over the thing with . . . whatever her name was . . . if the need for Lolita had not been coursing through his body. Hart had known it was coming to a breaking point, yet regretted deeply it happened so soon.

But he was back now. Having reached a point where the only thing to do was turn around and come back home. He had probably lost the position as leader of his tribe, god knew his bar had been closed all these months. And he felt nothing but heartbreak once seeing the place come into view. His howl echoing throughout the edge of the forest before he just plowed back into the darkness unable to return. Too bad that hunter had been in his way, bastard even getting a shot off which ripped right through Hart’s shoulder. He wanted to get shot, wanted the pain before he made the kill. Always a pleasure to rip apart a human.

Calmer, and in more control after loosing it, Hart returned to his home. Though how could it be a home without her? Stepping into the place after busting the heavy locks someone added to see the dust and cobwebs forming, not even caring before slowly making his way upstairs. Knowing she was not there. How could it be home without her?

Somehow he expected to see the blood everywhere still, instead the place had been cleaned after the mess, probably by a tribe member wanting to protect. Lolita certainly would not have cared. He stepped into the bedroom to see the chains hanging broken and lip across the stripped bed. The last place he had seen her. It was there he broke. Back against the wall as he sank down and let his body shake, no tears though. Did he even have any inside his black soul to shed?

It only took a few hours before they were arriving downstairs, his tribe. Assembled once he was found to be back in town Hart could only pull himself up and go down to face them. All through the night they spoke, getting things ironed out, then two left to help clean the place up. Time to get back to normal.

He did not ask about Lolita.

Did not have too. As soon as the majority were gone his bartender just stopped to tell him no one had seen her around. The man knew about them, he was the only one who knew for certain. After all he was around too much to not know things. Though faithful in his duty to Hart and never saying a word to any. And for two days they went over books and got the place opened again, not even a need to advertise before the people started filling in as though they had not been closed nearly five months.

Nearly five months. Seemed years to him. Yet now he would be the responsible adult once more and tend to his duties. Which he did. Yet as soon as the doors closed he was changing and running into the woods to hunt her. He needed to find her, needed to see her, needed to smell her. It only took two days. Yet something was different, the reason it had taken him this long, her scent was off. Had it simply been too long? Had he lost his touch? Was she with another?

He would rip the fucker apart if she was. No. No. He would not. If she was with someone he would be happy for her, he would be glad she was getting herself together.

Screw that, he would still rip the fucker apart.

He stopped outside the abandoned house, pacing. Nervous. Hands sweating as he wiped them against his jeans, took a deep breath, and slowly walked to the door and opened it. His eyes adjusted quickly. And what he saw before him made Hart drop to his knees. That old door closing on it’s own behind him. A single weak tear slipped down his cheek without him even knowing it came. “Lolita.” His voice cracked as he crouched there. He was afraid to move. Afraid to touch her. Would she even want him to be here? Curled up there with her tears and looking more pitiful than he could ever remember her being. It broke his heart and Hart’s throat tightened. He had no clue what to do. How to act. Who she would want him to be.






. . . this hole in my heart
Cant be filled with the things I do
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Lolita
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[*] posted on 9-2-2008 at 10:16 PM


Necessity? She couldn't belive that, she'd never believe that. It wasn't necessary for her to find other men. She'd found the one she wanted and would just wait. Knowing she'd wait for all time, but when nothing could ever match up, why bother? There was no point.

And even now there wasn't. Carrying a child and not even having touched another man. Wasn't worth the effort, never understanding why he was so intent on it. Mind just convinced he did'nt care, he didn't think of her like he pretended to.

She was almost growing used to the fact, laying there, dayin and day out, doing just what it took to get by. After that night she'd left, wounds healed in a few hours as she just tore herself from those restraints. Cleaning, despite what he thought, taking that girl off as she dumped her body in the woods out for a pack of the savage wolves, never returning, cursed into that form, cursed by their consumption of humans. Lolita disgusted at the sight, but hardly a drop of emotion upon her.

It was like she died, it was what everyone seemed to say. Fight club boarded up, locked down and the bar chained up by the rest of the tribe as she just walked away. Never coming back, never saying a word. Finding that house she'd seen once upon a time, a haven for lost wolves...just as she was now. Lost without home, never having had a thing without him. And she didn't want anything to begin with, the dust and cobwebs enough company for her now.

More than she deserved.

She had never thought he'd return, never throught he'd care to even find her if he did. She stayed away from the tribe, she stayed away from everyone, none seeming to care too much about her dissaperence either. Fight club just in the streets, run on without her, those wolves needing to get their rage out without her or those rules no matter what.

The world could go on without her, and it did. Fast forward as the months flew by, her stomach just growing as she sat in that dark house, watching the ticking of the clock and the flick of those counting beads passing the time. A rabbit had wandered in once, although it hadn't lasted long. Nothing seemed to last long in here, a black hole as she took all that came in and never let it go. Spiders in jars nearly the only company she could hold these days. Lone wolves who wandered by warned off by the sound of her mournful tears, surely growing the reputation for a haunted house in these few passing months.

But still, someone dared to enter. Thinking it was jsut another kid dared to go up, uncaring to even lift her head from that table as she slid those beads across, ticking away the time as she went. Unable to sleep, eyes hollowed from the weeks of unrest, bloodshot and weary and only growing in size as she heard her name.

Her name, that voice. The two things that had been haunting her day dreams, not even thinking before she trashed up, whirling about on her chair with that coat wrapped tight around her, stained with blood and the grime of the homeless shelter that had been her one savior all these months. Kind people willing to give her food, willing to help her as they could, saying prayers over her belly that she could only ignore. A touch of kindness she didn't deserve.

She didn't say a word, eyes just staring at him, cold and dark, lips parting with a small tremble. She wanted to reach out, run for him, but everything he'd told her before still rang loud in her head. Knowing she couldn't, still angry, still crying, still just not over anything. Looking to him one last time then, just before she turned, refusing to give him a breath of attention as she was up from her seat, shoving it from beneath her. Turning away, just walking away into that next empty room, the mess of a once-was kitchen. She was told to grow up, get another life - well, now she had one. A useless, pathetic one... one she would never forgive him for giving her now. Was this supposed to be her better life?




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Hart
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[*] posted on 9-2-2008 at 11:01 PM


Just surviving, not living. That was what he was doing, and it seemed she was doing the same. Truly living as an animal all these months, never once changing to human form to deal with human issues. Just curling up underneath trees when rest was needed, even once he returned these two days Hart had yet to sleep in a bed. Felt odd to walk on two legs instead of four, odd to speak.

Odd for her not to be home.

He was worse than the lowest human in his own eyes after all he did. Hart lived his life before Lolita with a solid confidence and purpose which never wavered. Never any doubts in his life. Never any hesitation. Never any fear. All of those things were for the weak, not for him. Yet somehow those weaknesses slowly festered their way into his being and left him lost and confused. He was never sure how to deal with Lolita, only knowing if he kept the annoyance up as protection things would be okay. But twenty years began to wane on his defenses as they were broken down by her very presence in his life.

There was no longer any confidence in how to proceed. Lost like some poor child in the woods now as he sank to his knees and was then ignored by her. It was more than he deserved. Wishing she would have exploded on him, came flying at him with fists and claws, at least then he knew how to deal with her. But this? This . . . rejection, was more than he could handle.

He fell against the door, his head resting there as he tried to ease the pain in his heart. She looked terrible, yet still so beautiful in his eyes. There was nothing he wanted more than to wrap his arms around her, cradle that fiery puppy and whisper his apologies, his regrets, his love. Weak. He was so weak for her. There was no one around, no need to pretend. Alone in this abanonded house with her dressed in those ratty clothes with fresh tears mixing along with the dried ones on her cheeks.

He rose slowly. Following her, yet not getting to close. He was too worried, too afraid of what she would do. In an odd purely unselfish way he wanted her to turn around with those scorching eyes and tell him she was happy and content without him. That she did not need him. That she was only here for a moment but had made a life for herself without him. It would be for the best if it was so, his heart would be ripped in two but for her he would suffer any pain to ensure the happiness he wanted more than anything for her. Even if it killed him. And he knew that if she was happy without him then he was prepared. The bar would be hers, he would give it to her and hand over everything he had before leaving. If she was happy he could not stay and watch it. Because if she had any measure of happiness right now it was because he was not in her life. And that killed him.

So knowing that, knowing if she was happy without him that he would leave her forever, one would think Hart would be a bit pleased that Lolita stood before him looking completely miserable. But instead it did the opposite. He felt ripped apart by her sadness. There was no middle ground with them, he was miserable if she was happy and miserable if she was sad.

It was why he felt that confusion on what to do now. He could only stand there in the cracked doorway, arms hanging at his side useless and without any point, shoulders slumped and eyes dulled with misery. What to say? He should speak to her. Go to her. That is what he wanted. He wanted to go to her, hold her close and promise to always take care of her if she would only forgive him for leaving. “I’m . . . sorry.” Lame. So lame. But all he could say with his gruff low voice. Would she just attack him already?





. . . this hole in my heart
Cant be filled with the things I do
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Lolita
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[*] posted on 9-2-2008 at 11:30 PM


Perhaps he had lived before her, but she couldn't remember a time before then that she had been without him. Even before her change he was about her, her entire life consumed with one man. One meaning, one reason. Perhaps he was to blame, never a chance for her to see anything else. But she didn't want to, either. She didn't want to see other men, she didn't want anyone but him. Ever since she was that tender sweet sixteen where it was made more than known she wanted more than to just be his friend.

Warned. And threatened. It was a phase, they said. A phase that would pass, but she just wasn't ever moving on.Twenty years later, feeling all the same. Never wanting anyone different, never trying. No options, no surrender. It was their code, and she'd live to it. Never surrending her feelings for anything, no matter the looks and words that flew about them. Learning to hide it, but never completely. Always there, always clinging, shoving other women away. It was always spoken of how once a wolf found their true mate, they would fight visciously for them, protect them with everything they had. And so she had.

To the very end, knowing even now she would. If that dissapointment could subside, if the bitterness would leave, clinging tight to her as she just sped from that room. Not looking to him but knowing he was following as she wandered into that kitchen, fiddling with that backdoor, desperate to just leave and get away from him but it held stuck, shaking at it with a silent fume, refusing to give him even a moments attention.... until he spoke.

He was sorry. Just... 'sorry.' Her eyes glazing over, turning towards him then, heavy coat hanging over her small frame, jeans still barely fitting as that tank stretched over her stomach, fingerless gloves shaking at him then with a low growl. "Sorry? Is that all you fucking are, Hart? Just... 'sorry'-" She could only restate those words, fingers forming mocking quotations, those five months seemingly having aged her far more than expected, dark circles holding about her eyes even now. No bruises, just no sleep. "I don't want your apology, I don't fuckin' need it either. I'm fine without you." Of course she was. She only looked like hell and was without food or a home. "You win, Hart. Remember last time?" The last time she'd 'won', her mind not even flinching at the thought anymore, not caring how close they'd been, it was over now. Everything was over, left just a bitter carcass of that once lively, though angry, little wolf she'd been. "Now it's your turn, winner. Happy to get your way this time? You were always right, after all. I'm doing wonderfully, so you can just move right along. This is one wolf who won't take you back."




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Hart
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[*] posted on 9-2-2008 at 11:50 PM


Yeah, he lived before her. Thinking he was happy then, never knowing a part of him was missing, a part that had yet to even be born. The moment he found her when she was only eight years old was the moment his life seemed to find it’s purpose. Her. Protect her. Live for her. In secrecy from the child he watched her grow, finally when her time drew near he came out of the darkness, purposely causing and accident where she was hurt. Not to see her in pain, but to be the one to find and save her. He needed her trust, for the First Change, that was what he told himself. But that little chubby kid stole his heart, loving her as one would love another of your blood at first, yet it grew and matured over time until she became his everything. Living without her made him nothing.

He did not show it, hardly ever let the weakness show. He was far older, far better at hiding his emotions than she would ever be. Yet it was all still there, ever burning desire and passionate fury to have her raging inside his large body simply aching to be free. Aching to have her, touch her, love her.

And as she stood there trying to escape, knowing it was fruitless. How could either ever escape the other? She had been right to say it those months before, but did she ever know just how deep his own need ran? The need to have her near? She seemed to only see her own weakness yet his was equal in passion, more so.

Her ragged thin body turned to him, eyes showing the fire he loved so much, wincing beneath her words. “You’re not fine without me. I am not fine without you.” Not moving, his voice low and full of so much emotion Hart felt he would choke on it. “And I remember last time, when you won.” So calm, even a crooked smile coming to play on his lips. “I think we are past that now, Lolita, look at us, both in rags and looking like shit. We both lost this game and it is time to stop playing it.” Taking one step to her, eyes dull and sad, voice pleading. “I cannot do it any longer. I need you, Lolita. I want you in my life and I am willing to do whatever you need me to do to make that happen again.” Humble. Hell, that was an odd thing for him. Yet she had stripped him bare, nothing left of him but to beg for her to come back home with him. Let him love her the way they both wanted. How could they fight it anymore? He would give up his desire for a family, she found a child of his already. Why did he need more? It was truly the greatest sacrifice he could make for her and he would. He would give up the deep hungry desire to have a family if only to have her. Have her happy.

So he closed the distance between them in two large steps. Strong arm wrapping around her tiny frame, other hand buried in her hair as he leaned down to press their foreheads together. Mouth open to speak when he took that deep sniff of her.

Hart wanted to smell her, smell that scent he craved every day since they had been apart. Yet it was not what filled his nostrils. For one moment he put it off to the fact she was dirty and wearing clothes owned by god knows how many others before she found it. But it was a lie. He knew her smell, could sense it . . . mixed. It was not just her. There was another inside. A part of her growing within that small body.

With a roar he shoved her away, her body thrown into the wall as he took a disgusted step back. Fists clinched and chest heaving. Vile names came to mind to call her. Bitch. Whore. Slut. So many horrible things replacing the loving thoughts of only a minute before. “So you have not been waiting on me, runt. Found someone else to screw and plant that thing inside you.” A cruel harsh laugh escaped his lips. “So much for me wanting to take care of you.” Arms spread wide as he turned a circle in this kitchen. “Is this what the fucker has given you? This the abode he gave in thanks for screwing his cock? That the clothes he gave you, Lolita? This his way of taking care of you? Letting you sit here and starve in the middle of the fucking woods?” Suddenly his hand balled into a fist as he whipped around and slammed his fist into the wall, going right through to the other room. His other palm came up to slap against the wall, unable to even look at her.






. . . this hole in my heart
Cant be filled with the things I do
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Lolita
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[*] posted on 9-3-2008 at 12:21 AM


Trust. It was all she'd ever had for him, knowing all those years she'd be safe. Protected, even after she was kicked out from her home. She had him, she always had - but that trust was gone now. No, rather, just fractured, peices scattered about as he left her that night, alone and abandoned without anything left. Maybe she could have stayed in the bar, but she couldn't. Too much memory, too afraid he'd come back.

Not wanting to deal with that.

Yet here he was now, before her, standing nearly still as a statue, faintly wondering if she was just hallucinating again. It'd happened before, so hungry and alone her mind just making thoughts before itself. But it wasn't, she knew it was true as soon as he moved. Floor creeking beneath him, her own body backing up faintly in a twinge of fear, afraid of what could come.


But it was only arms about her. Holding her, her tears all dried up now as she just stared up at him, bitter as ever, unforgiving even as he broke down. Humble, a place she'd never known he could ventrue to, quietly just falling back into his arms then as his head pressed down against hers, lips trembling and just longing to speak. "I-"

She couldn't even get a word out before she was just shoved away, hearing him roaring out, her arms torn from where they'd softly wrapped around him as her body just slammed back against that wall, knocking against it as the bucket of water nearby came crashing down on the ground. Yelping out, cold water hitting her as she scrambled up, coat shed now as it hung dripping wet, leaving her there with that thin shirt pulled tight over her small, growing stomach, snarling out at him as he just punched through the walls. Her walls. Swearing the bastard who'd done this.

"You gave me this, you fuck!" She was screaming now too, body exherted but she didn't even care. All those stupid, feminine little stories about growing attached to that child as it grew within you meaning nothing to her. She was doing what she had to, nothing more, nothing less. Breeding. Hadn't he taught her best? "You left me, you gave me all this. You gave me no fucking choice, you selfish prick." She wanted to hit him. She wanted to smash him so badly, but she couldn't, knowing if she went up against him he'd only strike back and she'd loose those months of work.

"Idiot. You're a fucking idiot, Hart. That's all you are, a petty, stupid little dog. But you know what? I don't need you to take care of me. I've been making it alone. Just when I think I'm getting better you have to selfishly fuck it all back up again." Always about him. What he wanted, what he needed, this should be done, where were his kids? Well fuck that, she was done with it all! She'd told him she was taking her fate into her own hands that night, she just hadn't known then it would lead here. "I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you, thinking you can have all the women and leave me on the sidelines just patiently waiting. Well, I wasn't waiting anymore. You're so fucking infertile you can't even get a broad knocked up, I just had to do it for you."
The tears were coming now, dry heaving sobs, having cried all she seemingly could now over him but the emotion was still there. Still tearing at her, that wolf soul feeling far more than she could ever wish to handle. "This is my kid now, Hart. My life, you left it long ago. If you didn't want to see me like this, you shouldn't have left me in the first place."




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[*] posted on 9-3-2008 at 01:05 AM


Neither ever had anyone else they could trust. Only one another. Hart always having shunned packs before she came into his life, never needing anyone in his life but her. Could she not see that? See that even the act of having their own pack together proved his devotion, his commitment, his love? There was only one other thing he wanted in life other than Lolita, children. Lots of them. Not for a fatherly instinct of desiring kids running around, but for the act of breeding and expanding their tribe. Strengthening the werewolf community, that was what he wanted.

But not more than he wanted her. Fighting it for so long but right now he just wanted to give in. He was going to give up every selfish desire for her, all he wanted after being away from her for the longest time since before they knew one another, was to make her happy. He wanted to see her smile. He wanted to see her bounce into a room full of that unending energy. He wanted to spare with her over silly things. He would even go down to fight club if she asked. He would do anything. Anything she wanted, willing to make any sacrifice to have her. Did she want to run away together? Be alone? Did she want him to announce to everyone the forbidden relationship they wished to have? He would do that too. As he held Lolita in his arms and felt her too thin arms wrap softly around his body he wanted to fall to his knees and beg for her love. Beg to be taken back and forgiven.

But this? This? He could not handle. It was too much. Raging inside as he fought against the need to change right there and rip her stomach apart to pull that foul thing insider out and tear it apart. Did not put that thought completely out of his mind but for now he fought the rage.

“Better?” He laughed a rich full laugh that had not been heard for far too long. Turning about only to contradict the happy sound by sweeping his arms out over a counter as jars and cans and god knows what else went crashing to the floor, his growl echoing through the room as he took a step to her. “Is that what this is? You are just some jealous brat who decided to go be a slut and spread your legs for some prick. You let him touch you. Let him get inside of you.” Fist slamming into anything he could, she should just be thankful it was not her face he was smashing in right now. Though that could easily be next as another step to her came, like a beast stalking his prey. Every step she took he had one towards her. Eyes going to that small pouch of her stomach as hate and envy coursed through his being. It would never be his child in there. Never be their baby. Never be a family they were creating with one another. Their own little close pack that would never be.

And it crushed him.

So much easier to focus on the anger and not the pain. Always with the two of them that was the protection they needed to survive together. “Shut the fuck up, Lolita. You have no fucking idea what you are saying. I never wanted those other women. Ever. You were the only one I ever wanted to fill my bed and you are the only one I could never have. I have tried to protect you. Tried to keep the others away from you, if they knew, if they knew for a fact you were completely mine there would be consequences neither of us should be willing to take. But you could never understand that. You could never understand how everything I did was to protect you. Keep the bastards off your back. Keep . . . fuck this.” Unable to even go on, speaking impossible when he was raging so badly.

“Fuck you.”

Words so soft and quiet suddenly as he just stilled. But always the quiet before the storm. Pouncing on her then, knocking them both to the ground as they rolled until he straddled her, legs pinned and arms above her head held in place as his hand gripped her jaw to make sure she looked at him. “Apparently you are not infertile, little whore.” Yeah, he could not keep that in. Images of her spreading those tight beautiful legs for another . . .

“You saying you did this for me? You think I should not have left you? That I drove you to this? It’s good to know I left so I could see how much of a whore you really are while I was away. True colors coming out much, Chihuahua? How many did you have to lay with to get this thing inside you? Answer me before I rip it out of you!” His hands tight and shaking her head, claws coming out to sink into her cheeks making them a a part of one another now.






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[*] posted on 9-3-2008 at 01:49 AM


She knew, deep down, she did know. But superficially she just couldn't accept it. She was too selfish, too greedy to handle just accepting what she had. That small little pack, unable to just understand all it meant sometimes. She'd been able to settle for it for years, but she was just growing tired. He was everyhting to her but the one thing she truly needed, that love. Sure, he gave it it... but not in that way, not the way she needed it. They all knew it was at the heart of a wolf to find that mate, to find the love they needed in their spirit. Hers so close, but so far - others finding it in humans, able to live freely.

No fear. But she had to be kept down, quieted about her feelings and told of her wrongdoings since that first day. How she couldn't feel that way, of all the pain it would cause. Never the wise thing to tell a girl like her, pain meant nothing.

And it meant less than it ever had before now. Ever since that night, she wasn't sure she could even feel. Fingers numb to everything, until they fell on him. A split second, eyes lighting up before she was just chucked away. Him screaming in that rage, things flying about the room as she just stood there in the midst of it all, snarl on her lips and anger just growing again.

Was there never any peace now? Always fighting, and not fighting for the fun any longer. Not making up soon after, not finding peace within one another. Just snarling and snapping, breaking and crushing. Bodies and glass and anything they could get their hands on, both driving the other all the more mad... and she seemed to finally hit hat last nerve.

"I do know what I"m saying Hart, I'm not a fool-" She repeated quietly, keeping her calm as her nails scraped down her arms, that need for harm growing, wanting to fighting that pain inside of her with physical feeling. Yet she couldn't, protective of that child in her if for one reason. It was a reason, a reason for him to stop - so she thought.

But he wasn't happy.

She almost wanted to lie, tell him she had slept with another man. Name someone, anyone, let him go and kill them, make him leave her alone but she couldn't. Even now, so angry, so broken, she couldn't make him leave, even as he lunged for her. Standing there, taking the impact with all she had, crashing against that floor and just hoping that baby wouldn't give out. Three months, nearly four, she was so close, she swore. It was what he wanted, but apparently it only woke all that anger within him.

Now he knew, he knew how it felt. All she'd felt before, her twisted emotions, her destructive chaos, unable to stop herself just as he couldn't stop now. Forced to look at him, black hair spilt out behind her as her eyes just stared up into his. She regretted nothing, because she did no wrong. Unlike him.

"I'm not YOU Hart!" Her words a loud hiss, body pinned there but no true fear as he threatened to rip it from her, threatened to harm her. That child. It wasn't even hers, how could she care? It'd be dropped off on a doorstep once it was birthed, she had no attachment. No love for it, nothing she'd ever wanted, just what she'd wanted for him.

"I'm not you," Just saying it again, hoping he'd get it, hoping he'd understand. "I'm not that cold. I'm not some heartless fuck, you prick. You think I'd sleep with someone after watching you for years be with other women? No one touches me, Hart. No one." Her words calming now, laying there as she bit hard into her lip, letting that blood break free for that momentary release of physical pain, smiling up at him behind those bloody lips in that momentary bliss. "Now you know what my entire life has felt like. But you don't even now, this is nothing. What you're feeling is nothing compared to my entire life of watching you give girls who mean nothing everything while I sit on the side with nothing-"




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[*] posted on 9-3-2008 at 02:47 AM


He always wanted more too. Sleeping with her nearly every night only making that all the harder to resist, part of the reason there were so many women which came in and out of his life. Though normally Lolita was like a little puppy, curling up at the foot of his bed long after he was supposedly asleep. And he let her stay there until her breathing evened out, then gently reaching to shift her, pull that little body up to his, wrapping her in his warmth, little sleepy puppy sounds coming from Lolita as they settled together in each others arms. Always needed her near no matter how it tormented his soul to not possess her completely. Forcing himself to be content with whatever he could get from her and trying desperately not to cross the forbidden line.

They belonged to one another, from the moment of her birth it seemed he was always drawn that direction. It was thirty one years ago that he arrived in New Helena once again after years of being away and roaming the states. Thirty one years ago she was born. Hart could still remember the sudden rush to get back home, as if he were needed. As if he were being called by some invisible voice to hurry home. Hurry home and protect her. Not knowing until he saw her eight years later what purpose he would serve in this town. But he knew then. Knew the moment that chubby little kid was tripped by those cruel kids what he was suppose to do with his life. Be hers. Oh how the kids had paid for their cruelty to his little Lolita, so many broken bones around her during those years before her First Change, so many kids loosing their minds for short periods of time. Even a few deaths. And oh how the papers milked the deaths of ‘innocence’. Innocence his ass, bastard pricks laid their hands on his Lolita and that would never be tolerated no matter the age.

And how was it fair for them to have such powerful need for one another yet it be so forbidden? So drawn to each other. Could not live without the other. What cruel joke was Mother Luna playing on them? How could a need this great, a desire this strong, a love so powerful, be so wrong? How could it be so wicked when it was what made the other whole?

And look where the rules got them. A near hate bubbling up from all the pain and heartache of a lifetime full of resistance together, was it even fixable now? Could they mend this? After going this far? The memory of her calling him Romeo came to mind, wishing it could be so. Death would end the misery of never having her. Truly understanding that overused story now, never wishing for death more than he did in this moment. Never wanting to somehow take his own life than he did staring down at her growing stomach, a womb filled by another man. An anguished howl ripped from this throat, echoing far beyond this broken home to fill the woods beyond.

Even as she spoke he was changing before her eyes. Loosing control. Not even wanting to change, not wanting to be like this right now, yet it was happening. It had been over half a century since this happened to him, this loosing control and changing without desire for it. “Someone touched you.” That seemed to be the last straw as his body was covered in that thick patchy fur, his body growing and growing seeming no end to how large he was becoming. His hands left her arms, only to touch that stomach. That womb holding a babe not his own, one that could never hold his child. Her body had been filled by another. Another he would seek out and kill. And enjoy it. It would be a slow torturous death for the one who dared lay his filthy hands on the woman he loved. Lolita only thought she had been cruel to the one she killed those months ago in his apartment. No one would know more pain and more suffering than the one who dared touch Lolita.

But right now he was the one touching her. It was his massive claws which gripped that belly. Both hands holding her like a child would hold a doll as he slowly squeezed. An anguished roar of pain and anger ripped form his throat as his claws dug into that round belly. Kill it. Kill it! A voice in his head seemed to scream. It was the voice and cry of an animal, no human could sound that bloodthirsty. He held her up by one huge animal hand, so tall and shaking with rage that his body was ducked to not hit the ceiling. One hand pulled back as it came slamming into her stomach, the force behind it sending her flying away from him. He only saw red. Saw a body there ready to be killed. He was ready for it. Ready to pounce and dig his fangs and claws into that soft female flesh and rip her body apart, gnaw on her bones after the flesh was torn away and use them for toys.

But that whimper, that cry from her. Made the beast in the room blink. And begin to shrink. Body shaking as he came down, sweat pouring from his body with the effort and strength it took to change back. Hart collapsed to his knees, naked with his destroyed clothes about him but ignored. Sweaty, shaking, and still fighting the need to kill he could only look at her in that puddle before him. She was in pain he knew, her stomach bleeding from his claws and black from the punch. And still, still he wanted more. He wanted to literally rip her stomach open and pull the babe from her. Yet he stayed where he was, shaking with the control to stay as he was, eyes darkened with hate for that thing being within her, pain slicing his body at this betrayal he felt from her. She was always suppose to be his. Never belong to anyone else.

He would kill her before he let another possess that love she should only have for him.






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[*] posted on 9-3-2008 at 03:22 AM


She'd never known what had stopped those kids, never knowing even to this day he'd protected her years before she'd even met him, the chubby little girl with that thick accent always mocked by the other kids in school. Tripped and teased, each slowly ending up dead or scared to come near her. Confused as to why, never feeling more alone than she had until she met him. The one person who cared for her, teachiing her all she could be.

Beating her into that change, thinking that night he'd nearly killed her but only to be finally born again. As what she truly was, the wolf inside of her. She never looked back after that day, soon dropping out of school as she stayed with him. Family left behind, she was unwanted anyway. Everything just tossed aside to be with him. All through her life, forgetting the things she could want to just be with him instead, curl up at the foot of his bed to sleep and wake up somehow in his arms.


He finally seemed to understand her now, her pain and her heartbreak, the feelings that tore through her entire life compact into a bite size chunk for him to get take a taste from. He could hardly handle it, that much was true - he called her weak, a runt, but she knew she was stronger than he thought. Able to live like that for over twenty years, he could hardly seem to last an hour.

Raging, thrashing and screaming at her - his words soon quieting before that change began to happen. Someone had touched her, her head shaking feverently as she just squealed in shock. "No-" It was all she could get out, all she ould say before he was gripping her up. Holding her, claws tearing into that stomach as those tears came back, Flooding hot and hard down her cheeks, rushing against her as she trembled and shook, kicking out at him but knowing it was no use.

He'd transformed, into that true, horrid beast that they were, ten feet and towering as he ripped at her stomach, punching at her stomach as she was thrown back against that wall, body collapsing on the floor as the blood spilled from her gut, unable to even rise up as she just lay there. Awaiting that fate now, crying to herself, not wanting him to see her pain, selfless for once in just wanting him to do what he had to be happy... but that whimpe that broke free stopped it all.

Eyes lifting up, looking to him as her breathing grew hard, biting, tearing into her lip to keep from crying out with the pain as she just swore out at him suddenly. 'You stupid FUCK-" She hated him. Hated him so much, why was he here? Why had he come back? He only made her pain worse, her heart long since lost but now her body too. Nothing he'd done before, ever, had felt this bad. Writhing there on the floor, screaming as she just threw a glass towards him, tears pouring down her cheeks as it shattered against his tanned skin without hardly a scratch.

"I told you, no one touched me." Breathe, god, she had to breathe. "No one touched me. I did this myself, Hart.... fuck." She was screaming now, unable to finish her words as she just curled within herself, blood pooling about her on the floor as she lay within it, the pain slowly numbing her body as she fell weak against it. "Fuck you. I hate you, I HATE you, what did you do? Oh god-" She was dying, she had to be. There was no other way, this much pain, hands falling over that bleeding stomach, the blood running down her legs telling more than she wanted to know, tears sliding down her stained cheeks in just a silent prayer now, for once in her life, just wanting to live.




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[*] posted on 9-3-2008 at 03:51 AM


It was what he vowed to do his entire life once finding her, just protect Lolita. It had been a full time job through the years with that constant need of hers to give self inflicted pain. Though she was always open to have others give it right back. How many times had he silently followed her as she taunted some gang of humans or wolves until they turned on her. How man times had he slipped down while her back was turned to save someone from slicing her into. Yeah, she could handle herself against most, always knowing she was tougher than he would ever admit, but a gang of young werewolves was too much even for her. Though he would never let her know this. And as the years started to pass he worried less. After all, they knew she was his. It did not stop them from beating the shit out of her, and her them, yet no one dared go that final step for fear he would lash out. The one time she was jumped by six and ended up withering and paralyzed from injuries had resulted in six very gruesome mutilated bodies surrounding her once she woke. He did not have to tell her it was him, nor did they ever talk about it. When she came home that day it was never mentioned.

Yet he was the only one who ever left scars on her body, both mental and physical. Over half a year had passed since he ripped that beautiful face off. It took a massive amount of damage to scar a wolf, yet there she was with one long scar down her eye. Sick of him to be so pleased by the sight of it always, knowing that was his mark. That she wore it, with pride even, to show all the world. To him it was like a diamond given to a true love, that scar was his way of always having a piece of him with Lolita no matter where she went.

Though even now she did not seem to understand it was more than a few months of pain which had him breaking before her. She was not the only one who spent twenty years pining for a love. They showed it differently, her shunning all men while he tired to drown himself in women to not think about Lolita. Failing miserably, yet still he tried. She was in his every waking thought and haunted his nights each time heavy lids closed to rest. She was his everything, his world, and it took being completely without her to make him realize they had reached the breaking point and it was time to screw the rules and just be happy.

Until she went and got herself knocked up by some bastard. Crouched there shaking with rage and pain trying to not kill her for it. Kill her for having what he wished above all things in the world to give her. Kill her for having the one thing he could never bless her with. Oh, he could, but it would not be any kind of blessing. But he had been willing to take that risk, willing to end all hopes of breeding by getting in contact with someone about stopping it all. They could do that nowadays, make him infertile. And that was what he wanted, just take away the option so he could just be with Lolita. Never have to fear of hurting her in that way.

But what was she doing now? Lying to him. Sitting there lying about not being touched. She did it to herself? What the hell did she think he was? Some idiot with mental problems? It just made him sick. “Fucking liar.” Growling out to her. She hated him? Fine. She could hate him. She could hate his fucking guts but there was no way he was letting her out of this place if there was even the possibility of that thing living within her. He saw all the blood, and it just made him hungrier for more.

He ignored the sounds of her pain. Ignored the human and compassionate wolf within that wanted to help, wanted to let her heal. The beast within far to strong for that, changing again, but this time with more control and not as big, he wanted it this time. He wanted the kill. Not even rising, just crawling on all fours like the animal he was, jerking her down till she lay flat on her back, holding her down, crushing her ribs to do so but not even caring. Bitch. Liar. Whore. He hated her right now. Hated her for letting someone touch what was his! Those bloody claws coming out to rake along that stomach. Then again, deeper this time. Not even trying to hurry. Before just digging in, stomach ripped apart, headless of her screams as her body thrashed about in the agony of pain.

He wanted her to hurt. Wanted her to remember this and never fucking let it happen again. She would be childless her entire life, he would see to it. He could never give her a babe, therefore she would never have one. Not that he would want to touch her now anyway, not after she whored herself out to god knew how many.

That bloody claw dipping into her ripped stomach until it found what it searched for. Merciless smirk of pleasure on his face when he pulled it out, ripping its body from Lolita’s as he realized she was no longer moving. Icy green eyes looking to see her so still. When had his hand went to her throat to smoother the air? Was it some unconscious mercy showing itself so she could not be aware of all the pain? Whatever. He had what he wanted now, that little thing barely looking human as he ripped it into two parts, throwing it onto her chest as he slowly rose. Blood was everywhere and all over him and he only wanted more. More destruction, the house was his now to serve that need. Raging about it, what little furniture was in there destroyed beneath his claws, walls nearly collapsing with his punches and the force of throwing things about.

It was never enough. Never enough.






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[*] posted on 12-27-2008 at 04:09 AM


Thoughts grim as she ran through the forrest at a fast pace, inner turmoil causing her movement to be more clusmy. Damn, why'd the stupid man have to go and get knocked down? Couldn't he use a designated crossing place like all the other pedestrians? Growling as she wound her way through the trees, muscle's strong and working hard to mantain the breathtaking pace she was setting herself with. She needed to clear her mind, needed some time to think. What would happen to her? Would she be taken into a foster home while her uncle was in hospital? Hell, there was no way on earth she was going to do that willingly. Snarling to herself as lept over a wide river, feet landing softly on the cold ground that rushed up to meet her. Damn, there was no way on earth she'd ever willingly go to a damn foster home. She'd stay in the forest. She like raw meet better anyway, and her thick coat would keep her warm at night.

Slowing as she neared the abandoned house that she'd found in her first scout of the woods. Sniffing the air around it. No humans had been here in a long time, and no wolves had been here for months. A sudden flurry of movement caught her eye and she stilled, blending in with her surroundings. A rabbit burst from the undergrowth, freezing as it saw her. She grinned inwardly. Such an easy target if you thought about it. But, then again, she'd never liked easy targets much. Barking suddenly, frightened the already scared animal. She wagged her tail as she watched in bound away. Yeah, way too easy.

She changed back into her human form as she walked into the open space that the held the house, pausing to remove the clothes she had tied around her leg. She didn't like going naked, it made her feel vunerable. Though she wasn't, not when her reflex were so acute. Jumping onto the rotten stack of logs, hand catch the edge of the roof, swinging herself upwards and landing in a crouch position. She thought back to running, it made her smile a little. She was the fastest runner in her tribe, one of the faster wolves, despite her age. She had a knack for running, her movement no longer clumsy, but graceful and co-ordinated. She loved running, loved that she was good at it with out trying. Well, great, but whatever.




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[*] posted on 12-27-2008 at 04:43 AM


She walked through the woods at a leisurely pace, her mind racing about. A frown was taking refuge upon her chapped lips, per usual, as she traveled through the trees. She was angry, she was upset and she needed to get away from her home and from civilization. Her mother had freaked out when Miah mentioned to the idea of dropping out of school. She didn't need school. Wolves did not attend school. They... they... well, Miah had no clue what they did. But she was quite sure they wouldn't attend fucking school!

Then, of course, there was that feeling which was permanent. That feeling of losing herself, her human self, to the knowledge of what she truly was. She wanted to be normal, to be an average and invisible kid again. As if now all eyes were on her, perhaps people did now. Miah made more attempts to get noticed because, well, that's what humans did. Hell, she even attended the bloody dance at school! Not that that went well. She finally was having a conversation with someone and the guy, Warren, just waltzed off to talk to some prettier girl. Miah spat out onto the ground as she thought about it.

Miah glanced up only to spot a little clearing. In the center was a small cabin, a figure was perched above the front porch. Miah's body instantly crouched closer to the ground. Her feet silently grazed across the ground, not making a single sound, as she advanced behind a tree trunk just on the edge of the treeline facing the abandoned house. She stared at the figure upon the roof for a long moment. Taking in the girls appearance, trying to gauge if she was worth talking to- if she was dangerous. Everyone was vaguely aware of the creeps who resided in New Helena. "Popular place today," Miah called with a chuckle as she stepped from behind the tree, advancing towards the girl. "You... you were at the ceremony." Miah's eyes were now slits as she examined the girl closer now. She recognized her from when she had spun to look at every single face in the center of that horrid circle. She felt a sort of comfort being with someone of her own kind, she didn't feel so alone. "I'm Miah."




"Insanity destroys reason, but not wit.”
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[*] posted on 12-28-2008 at 05:50 PM


Oh, they were a they now, huh? Um, well, wasn't that nice to know? Not that she knew what the girl was thinking. But she was obviously young, very young. Had she no guide to help her at all? Andy hadn't had a guide either, hadn't even been an active trive member until she'd came to New Helena. But still, just because she was a wolf, didn't mean she was completely stripped of her right to do as she pleased. Oh, there were certain things she was forbidden to do, yeah, but she didn't want to eat a stinkin' human anyway. But, she had some measure of free-will, all wolves did. But one thing was most impotant. Keep the secret. No human could know, though she knew of some voodoo cop in the city that knew about them and the bloodsuckers. Did this girl know about the bloodsuckers, And couldn't help but wonder.

She realised she was staring, but offered no apology. Just a careless shrug of her shoulders as she looked at the girl. She didn't look much younger than herself, and she also regonised her from the clan gathering, as one of those who'd been chosen to be turned then and there. It made her smile a little, thinking of Jacob who she'd simply walked away from, offering no explaination. So what, she thought, I got bored, no big deal if I've got a short attention span. She cocked her head to the side and look at the girl closely. She looked normal, to be honest, she had a childish body, curves not yet quite there. Total opposite of herself, with her brightly died hair, already annoying full figure that had started to get her notice for the guys at school. Annoying or what?!

Shrugging again and moving closer to the ledge, still appraising the girl. I wonder how big her Gauru is, and is she any good at fighting yet? Shaking the thoughts away, not really caring. It was her wolf side that was always challenging other to fights, and she'd developed a knack for winning, though she didn't try and use it. "Yeah, I was there. I didn't see the whole point of it, honest. Maybe I'm too young, but s'far as I can tell, it's just a bunch of old wolves wanting some fresh blood. And what fun is there in beatin' the crap outta some kid that ain't gonna be putting up much of a fight?" She grinned lopsidely and raised one eyebrow at how readily the girl introduce herself. "I'm Andy, Third Ranking wolve of the Storm Lords Tride. Mind you, there is only three of us anyway." She grinned again, even though it wasn't exactly a friendly gesture, but she wasn't used to talking to such an obviously younger wolf, and not feeling the need to vie for dominance. "You at Van Buren?" She'd leave it up to the girl to voluteer her clan. It was common courtesy after all.




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Mood: Taking pride in her Bitchyness

[*] posted on 12-29-2008 at 09:00 PM


Young? Miah was fourteen, sure. However, Miah had always been much older than her age. Much more mature than all the other materialistic and spoiled little brats of her generation. Miah hated how short-handed she was because she was a 'child' in modern opinion. Fuck that, Miah was more of a grown up than half of the adults she knew. Sure, Miah looked much more childish. In her body type, anyway. Small breasts, skinny little waist and standing a mere 5'2". Didn't mean she couldn't throw a punch that could shatter a nose into dust. Which, in fact, Miah was quite sure she accomplished at the ceremony. If she ever saw that fucking bastard who'd beaten on her again... oh, there would be hell to pay.

Miah noticed the girls inquisitive stare which mirrored the one on her own face. Hardly caring, honestly, but still standing a tad taller with her chin just a bit higher. Knack for winning? Oh, Miah had one too. On her first day in Van Buren she'd beaten up a senior who tried to hit on her. Broken the poor boy's nose and given him a black eye, in fact. Off school grounds, unfortunately for him he'd decided to follow her home. The fool.

Miah couldn't help but laugh out loud with the girl said that they were beating on kids unable to put up a fight. Miah did, that's for sure. Fought through broken and shattered bones, she did. Miah never lost a fight, let alone to some stranger, some adult, picking a fight with a little teenage girl. "Well, some of those 'kids' put up a fuck of a fight," Miah said with a triumphant grin. Yeah, she was thrown around like a rag doll. But that bastard got himself a nice old fashioned facial. "Cool," she responded simply, crossing her arms over her small chest. "And yeah, I'm a freshman at Van Buren... unfortunately. You are too, right?"




"Insanity destroys reason, but not wit.”
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